Benji’s vet appointment was pretty easy. Except he called my baby GERIATRIC! (gericatric?) I know he’s 10, or nearly 10? Maybe fully 10? Honestly, I’m not even sure at this point. But my baby is old! That’s so weird. The vet said he could be losing weight because his metabolism is fluctuating or it’s still psychological. They took blood and it all came back good! So he isn’t sick, no cancer, no diabetes, no anything. I’m so happy. Apparently he is too because he hasn’t left a lap unless it is for another lap since i got home from work. Old age is making him so super snuggly. Either that or Luna is.
Good news for baby, but my sister-in-law called my sister today to let us know our mom checked herself into the hospital with chest pains. :( Sis-in-law was worried no one would tell us anything until after, so she called. She’s been texting updates and everything seems ok. They did an EKG and blood work and everything seemed to check out. And her blood pressure went down while she was there. Tonight she is staying in the cardio center just to be sure everything is good. It’s really frustrating.
I know she’s upset and not doing very well at all with her parents’ deaths, but she is now putting her life in danger in the process. She’s been struggling with her weight for pretty much ever and they have been warning her about her heart for the last 5-6 years. But with her depression and everything so bad right now, she hasn’t cared at all and has gained a lot of weight. Mandy is mad. It’s the only thing she can be right now without bursting into tears. She’s afraid (and rightfully so considering our maternal medical history) that if mom keeps up this trend it will end up with us burying her sooner than later. I’m trying not to think down that road. But I do hope this scares her a little. Something to motivate her into caring again.
It’s been ages since I’ve written in here. I’ve been sort of text posting over on my other (main?) blog, but I miss it over here. It feels like this is where I want to keep my text posts, especially considering how I’m changing the other one in small steps.
Life is good. It is always good, but things are changing, moving. It’s a nice feeling. I’m working, I’m massaging, I’m studying crystals, I’m meditating, I’m eating better.
It hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure. Working has been hard. One of the places just wasn’t picking up, people weren’t coming in, and people weren’t coming back. It has been frustrating and discouraging and hard. But I found a new place. It’s closer to home, it’s more medical based, the lead LMP has been doing this for over 10 years. His experience and advice alone make it worth it, but it’s also busier. Hopefully I will be taking on more days over there in March. Which will be so great to finally feel like I’m contributing to our income. It’s been such a long year feeling like I’m holding us back.
All you can do is those circumstances is keep moving, though. Keep believing, make necessary changes, and never give up. It finally feels like it’s paying off. All the positive energy and the effort of knowing it would are finally circling in.
Don’t give up on your path. Be prepared to make changes and always, ALWAYS keep moving. And most importantly - it’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay to be frustrated. It’s okay to feel like it will never work out, but never let it consume you. Acknowledge those feelings and let them be for a short time, then figure out what you need to do to make it better. What CAN you do? And then do it.
Believe in it. Believe in you. Believe you deserve the best.
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapt in awe, is as good as dead. — Albert Einstein
The other day I was talking to my neighbor about life. About the things we’ve been through and the things we’ve put ourselves through. It made me think of this.
The one thing I keep saying is this is your life. And I mean that and follow through with that ever day. Are you running your life or is life running you?
I believe that part of what makes me content and happy in life is acknowledging my decisions. Recognizing that every choice and non-choice is still my decision. I can look around and back and see that letting life rule was still my choice. Yes, I sat back and watched, but that was still my choice. It’s a decision I made. Sometimes I regret that decsion, but I know I learned things from it.
Maybe we can’t change or decide everything, but we can decide some things. How we deal with things, how we face things, what we say, what we do.
When you start taking control over your decisions - over your life - it changes things. It changes how you perceive the world around you when you feel in control.
Make every decision you make matter. And recognize that everything you do is a decision.
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination — Albert Einstein (via thegirlnamedlyngholm)
I am a bitter, bitter princess and I hate that.
Headed to the baby sis’s new apartment with my other sis. I hope it goes well. I am a little nervous, but trying not to be. I can do this.